I'm back! I have really struggled to get back on top of my course. I've had a few health issues raise their head, from struggling with my anxiety to finding out I have high blood pressure, so I've been finding it hard to prioritise my art course.
I'll try not to dwell too much on the health stuff, but just to say having anxiety can be a real kick in the gut. It takes away things that used to give you pleasure and makes you feel worthless and burdened with shame when you struggle to keep on going as "normal".
It can also give you the most sickening feeling of dread and fear when you actually try and tackle some of the things that have fallen by the wayside whilst battling with your anxiety.
I have been trying to start this module for near on 8 months. Each weekend I would say, right I am going to tackle my art course. And each weekend would pass leaving me feel drained and disgusted at myself that I hadn't managed to achieve something.
Want to know the big thing that was crippling me with fear? The fact this task was asking me to stand in my kitchen and draw the contents of my kitchen cupboard. Each time I tried to turn my mind over to focusing on this exercise I would feel almost paralysed by the anxiety of my kitchen being a mess, the fact that my cupboards are chaos, the fact that dirty dishes in the sink were sat there almost judging me for not being on top of all the things.
It zapped my energy and creativity. I just knew there was no way I could stand in my claustrophobic kitchen and be able to focus on the art. My mind was to noisy. So each week went by, feeling more shame each time as weeks turned into months. I was really worried I might not be able to complete my course.
It took me 8 months (and a bit of therapy) to realise that, I need to break things down into manageable chunks. If I can't manage to draw my kitchen, why not draw someone else's?
💡💡💡
This seems obvious in hindsight but it was like a lightbulb moment for me. I was able to focus on the shape and form of what I was seeing, without any feelings of judgement or shame as I could be completely detached from what was in front of me.
I want to say a huuuuuge thank you to Laura (https://instagram.com/loopy_illustration?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) who let me draw her kitchen cupboard instead.
So......Onward with the exercise!
The core tenet of this exercise is perspective.
To take a observant gaze at the 3 dimensional man-made shapes, arrayed within a kitchen cupboard, and translate the observed forms on to paper, as if the objects were transparent, using line work alone to create the sense of structure.
The idea is to be able to convey form without the use of light and shade. This relies on the artist being able to accurately observe the perspective of the 3D shapes and be able to translate those into a 2D drawing.
So, using Laura's kitchen (as pictured above) I was able to start the task.
Using a skill I picked up during a life drawing class many moons ago, I started assessing the perspective by holding my pencil up in front of me (closing my weaker eye as it tries to trick me) and try to get an accurate idea of the angles I could see in front of me. I would then continue holding the pencil at that same angle and use it as a guide to start drawing the cupboard door in a forshortened manner, in order to show the realistic perspective of the open door verses the cupboard itself.
I realised after I started to map out the forms that I had made a bit of a mistake. I had started drawing this out in an A4 sketchbook which, after drawing in the foreshortened door, didn't leave me with much space to accurately draw the contents as they were going to be teeny tiny.
So, I scrapped that attempt (see above image) and moved to my A3 sketchbook.
I decided to use a double spread and tried to map the door opening near the spirals. (though again, I didn't consider the difficulty of drawing around the spirals) I liked the idea of the fold of the sketchbook working like the door being opened/closed and also thought doing it across 2 pages would give me a bit more space to play with.
Below is a photograph of what I managed to achieve using a graphite pencil, A3 sketchbook, ruler and a rubber.
I was particularly pleased with the contents on the lowest shelf as they almost look like they are all made from glass.
I found it quite a struggle drawing some of the rear objects as they were obscured by other items, but to give the accurate impression of transparency I had to make some educated guesses as to what the object would look like, if I could see the whole thing through the object in front of it. I think they worked out quite well and I think it makes for quite a pleasing drawing.
I was interested to note how each shelf had a different angle based on the viewing perspective. The lower shelf was being looked down upon, the upper shelf was being looked up towards, and the middle shelf was being looked at head on, which makes the objects appear almost 2 dimensional as the 3rd dimension to the objects is much less apparent when you are at eye level. (Except those objects that were at an angle such as those in the basket) This is because they are on the horizon line.
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